What are You Going to Do? BBQ or Mildew?

A while back.. I gave my first sermon for my Homiletics class. I wish I can say  I did a great job BUT... 

I keep thinking back to my first sermon. My teacher all but hated my sermon and told me if she was in the congregation she would have gotten up and walked out the church! My feedback from my classmates were equally as bad if not worst. The difference between my teacher and my classmates is that I know my teacher spoke to me in love from her Spirit, but I cannot say the same for my classmates.  Well, I am not going to say  ALL of my classmates, but some.  I was perhaps, and I may be partial, given the worst feedback out of all of my classmates who had given their sermon up into that very moment. 

I remember how I felt at that very moment.   My sermon was on being typecasted and how we are to see ourselves and others with the renewed eyes of Christ if we are to GROW in Christ. I remember feeling as if I was typecasted while speaking on being typecasted.  I know my teacher spoke in TRUTH, it REALLY was an awful sermon, but what she didn't know
was that she was giving some of my classmates false confirmation to those who told me in my face they questioned my Call from God and did not see the Manifestation of Christ residing in me because after a very long day, my wakeful meds had  worn off, I had been up for 20 hours at that point, I had worked very hard that day at work, my speech was slurred, I was stuttering, my vision was blurred, I was quickly losing cognitive function, rational thoughts were leaving, impulse control was long gone and Lisa in the  flesh was singing and swinging and getting merry like Christmas! And in a moment of sheer frustration of a disturbing phone call I had received I said Oh Shhhh... 

SideBar: I have since learned that with a sleeping disorder comes limitations and one of them is, not being up longer than I am suppose to be and not being around people when I am up longer I am suppose to be!! LOL

But I have digressed..  

I look back at that moment and as I saw the "I knew she wasn't called look" on their faces, I can say I was staring adversity in my face and I KNEW I was staring adversity in my face. 

Like Jesus. 

Paul. 

Peter. 

So what was I going to do? BBQ? Or Mildew?

As I said earlier, I wish I could say that I did a good job on my first sermon, BUT I allowed circumstances going on at that time in my life to infect my message. Every time God gave me a thought or I wrote a passage it would come to past. People were wearing my nerves out. One at a time. Continuously. I learned I cannot allow what is going on in my life to infect a message God gives me to deliver especially a message that is near and dear to my heart and I am very passionate about!! 

The most important lesson to be gained from this is that despite the adversity staring me in my face. Despite how I felt like nothing. Despite how I felt weak. Despite how low I felt at that very moment. I know, without a shadow of a doubt I am never to give up or walk away from what God has called me to do! 

Like my Pastor said on this past Sunday, 

It is when we are at our lowest that God can truly mold us!

Only the weak in Him are mighty! 

Only the small in Him are great! 

Christ, Peter & Paul did not quit and neither will I! The cross was much harder!!

Lam 3:58-59

Lord, you are my lawyer! Plead my case! For you have redeemed my life! You have seen the wrong they have done to me Lord. Be my judge, and prove me right! 

Prove me right Dear God that You have in fact called me to do Your ministry and spread Your Word and bring others to Christ! I continuously pray that I am successful in doing what He has called me to do so that HE can get the Glory!!  

Amen!!