Thursday, March 17, 2011

30 Days of Blogging Day 1: What I Hate About Myself

Sooo Ive decided to partake in this Daily Blog for 30 days on writing 30 different pre-chosen truths about myself. Although Ive given up Facebook & Twitter until Easter, I will be posting links via blogger to my page... I dunno why I am having such a difficult time this year with my total fast... but here we go...

Day 1: What I Hate About Myself

I really do despise my inability to be disciplined in all aspects of my life... Not praying like I should, Studying the bible like I should, staying on top of my homework like I should, keeping my household intact, not being able to focus, sometimes unable to keep my trap shut because I have that ever elusive point to prove. This particular inability of keeping my trap shut has caused me much strife in my life and in some cases has ruined friendships and I am steadily working on and praying for me to discipline my tongue.. Anyhoo, I cant even do this 40 day fast I put upon myself, still smoking, still drinking coffee.. just big ol *sigh*... I lasted 6 whole days... SMH I am keeping off of Facebook and Twitter, well for the most part... I am discovering that not being able to post my daily thoughts is worrying me beyond belief... Im trying to keep a journal, but I seem unable to do even that on a consistent basis. But the one thing that I seem to be disciplined about is getting my sleep. It use to be that sleep was an escape from darkness and depression, and PRAISE GOD that is no longer the case, but now I just seem tired all of the time. And thats driving me to distraction because I am feeling like Im being lazy. Someone told me to get some vitamins, B12 & prenatal. Ive done so today and Im praying this works. I do know that for most of my life Ive always felt tired. Just tired. Dont know if it is me, if Ive been conditioned or have conditioned myself to be sleepy. But what I do know is that beating myself up about it is not going to solve this problem.

12 comments:

  1. Ha! Are you sure we're not related??? LOL!

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  2. I can relate to a lot to what you said, especially this part...

    "Not praying like I should, Studying the bible like I should, staying on top of my homework like I should, keeping my household intact, not being able to focus, sometimes unable to keep my trap shut because I have that ever elusive point to prove. This particular inability of keeping my trap shut has caused me much strife in my life and in some cases has ruined friendships and I am steadily working on and praying for me to discipline my tongue.. "

    This may have well be me typing that!

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  3. I struggle with it constantly... Praying for deliverance... I refuse to allow the devil to keep deceiving me!

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  4. Hey Queen, I didn't know you had a website. I hope you stick with the 30 Days of Truth. I couldn't do it. I got to the 6th or 7th one and I just gave up.

    I'll be checking for more posts!

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  5. Well if it helps any, you are 20 times more disciplined then me, the fact that you can get through graduate school in forensic accounting no less (what in the devil is that?) you definatly doin ok...and some stuff you have to quit beatin yourself up about, thats why we become saved so God can deliver us and make us better, us trying to do it ourselves will never ever work..keep praying keep believing and keep doing what your doing

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  6. I can totally relate to the discipline part... I three am the same way...and sometimes I feel so bad about it...that I cant disipline myself to stay on task with the weight loss... and I also smoke too... God aint thru with us yet.... We are still under construction...

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  7. lacreasewalker.comMarch 20, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    You can do it boo. When I went on a fast recently, with writing it worked for me. Here is the link, even if it was just a scripture I did it DAILY!!! I FELT SO GOOD AFTERWARDS. KEEP BEING CONSISTANT, AND LET US MOTIVE YOU TO KEEP WRITING DAILY, CAUSE I WILL BE HERE READING AND HANGING ON TO YOUR EVERY WORD. INSPIRE US THROUGH YOUR WRITINGS, WE ARE HERE WITH YOU SIS. WE ARE HERE.

    Here is my 30 day blog link when I was on a fast.
    http://lacreasewalker.com/tag/30days/page/2/

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  8. @Anonymous 1: praying and believing in Jesus' Name!


    @Anonymous 2: you too eh? you right about one thang though.. #GodAintThruWithMeYet

    @Cree: How come this is the first time me seeing this blog page of yours? HUMPH LOLOL

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  9. Hey girl, it's Kat just checkin in on ya. Glad to see you're getting more sleep...I could do a lot better with that myself. I do admire your exercise in discipline, that is kind of what my weight loss efforts are for me. Not here to tell you to lose weight or anything, but you mentioned being tired, & one thing I've discovered recently is that increasing my protein intake made a huge difference in my energy levels. Maybe just make a few simple substitutions, like 2-3 eggs for breakfast instead of cereal or toast, for example. Just a thought. ~ Kat

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