Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Day 7 of 30 Days of Thanksgiving: Another Year, Unexpected Gifts, Gifts & Old Friendships

Here I am writing my Thankful Blog 23 minutes before the conclusion of my 39th Birthday. 

39 huh Lisa? Just WOW!! 


The Unexpected Gift


Since I was about 33, I would say no more babies after 35, then 37, then 39, thennn well, I at least gotta be married by time Im 40 and have the baby in my first year of marriage!! LOL


During the fall of 2008 when I was finishing my undergrad degree, I just KNEW that was going to be my last holiday season in retail!!! 


In June 2009 when I finished my post grad paralegal certificate, I just KNEW that would be THE last year PERIOD in retail and couldn't anyone tell me that the holiday season was not gonna catch me DEAD still in retail. 


I have prayed, literally for 4 years to PLEASE GOD!! LET THIS BE MY LAST HOLIDAY SEASON IN RETAIL!!! 


Well today, I got an unexpected birthday gift from God. Well, kinda.. LOL I went to the doctor and concerned because Im not responding very well to the new meds, he told me to stay off work until the first week of December!! 


SOMEBODY SHOUT GLOORRRAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! 


What??? First Black Friday & Saturday in at least 15 years that I don't have to work??


SOMEBODY SLAM THE DOOR IN THE devil's FACE!! 


And whyyyy would I be happy to be receiving 60% of my current pay when I currently have $2.00 to my name, rent isn't paid, bank account is overdrawn due to them not paying me my sick time nor telling me they failed to do so nor did my manager submit my short term disability papers into corporate and I do not know the next time Im going to see a check??


Cuzzz, thinking about going to back to work on Monday would instantly put me to sleep!! The madness that is currently going on, they decided to train all 100 employees on doing returns (many of whom cant give back change for a $20 without shorting the register), we are short staffed on service desk supervisors and the expectation would all fall ALL on me to make sure we are preventing shrink in the return process (cash, proper ticketing, fraud returns, sensoring, etc) AND provide good customer service?? Unh Unhhhh couldn't do it!! I ain't ready and God knows Im not ready and Im thanking Him for this break and leaning on him to provide my needs and ensuring I do not get evicted and thanking Him while I am IN it!!! 


The Gift

MiniMe being ever so frantic over me never having a "celebration" if you will for my birthday, "planned" my birthday celebration by insisting my mother (we are still trying to figure out when did she get a job to make such plans? LOLOL SMH) takes me out for dinner on yesterday evening. Soooo sweet that child of mine is! And the bonus? Moms gave me a $100 gift card to Ashley Stewart! Yesssss!! Said I needed to buy more clothes since my clothes are literally falling off of me! LOL Said she didn't give me cash cuz she knew I wasn't going to spend it on myself (which I wasn't cuz Im thinking about how my bills are lining up) sooo on tomorrow.. Im going to go get me an outfit or three.. and Im thankful for it. 

Another Year
Usually on my birthdays, Im always depressed, always thinking about how nothing has changed, Im still not married, Im still robbing Peter, John, Bartholomew and the rest of the disciples to pay Paul, still living in the hood, still do not have a car, Im still not having an all out birthday celebration party on my behalf, still by myself, feeling all isolated and what not.. and although nothing Ive listed has actually changed this year, Im just genuinely, whole-heartedly, purely, and sincerely thankful to see another year. This year, Im taking all time conditions off of myself for perceived measures of success... its not on my time.. this is not my life Im living.. but His. and it is only when and if He decides for the innermost desires of my heart to be filled or changes my desires. Until then, I must relearn contentment and not continue to feel cheated, short changed or as if Im settling. aka discontentment and be thankful for simply being blessed enough to see another year filled with promises, hope and faith that THIS will be better and there is more to life than what is tangible. 

and finally,

Old Friendships
As I was going through thanking everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday on Facebook, Thank you, by the way, many people I have not seen since yesteryearsssss, have never met, etc.. then I came across some of my oldest and dearest friends, and realize how much I miss them. We are all in different states right now, and I moved to Chicago not having any friends, and on tonight as I thought about it, I really got to appreciate who they are in my life. the laughs. good times. goodwill. phone conversations. going places. visiting each other. shopping. One of whom Ive only met once and upon meeting me took me where I needed to go despite I kept falling asleep on her! LMBOO But what I do remember about them the most, they loved me for me despite my issues and quirkiness, there was never any keeping track of who did what for who and I did this for you so why can't you do the same, they would have offered before I was able to get the words out of my mouth to ask, I would have never been asked to pay for their help, charged for their gas, and they knew I would have never asked anything from them if they needed help from me. I also know my post-Mister life would have been a heck of a lot EASIER if at least ONE of them were in the same city with me. I miss you & love you guys sooo much and I Thank God for you, despite the distance!! Im sorry I seldom call, not because I don't want to, but mostly because I forget (which y'all already know about me LOL) and seldom call folks these days (or previously actually) cuz long conversation will have me sleep on you guys!! LOL SMH

Sooo, today has been remarkably uneventful. No tears. No sadness. No beating myself up. No depression. Some reflection. Many prayers of Thanksgiving. Bummed around North Michigan avenue window shopping, talking with God and doing a whole lot of nothing.

And for once, Im thankful for that. And content. Cuz really? It doesn't get much better than that! 

4 comments:

  1. Things could be worst, alot of ppl didn't wake up to a birthday today, Thank GOD for life despite of it all. Say hallelujah anyhow.Just think about how our GOD is awesome(charles jekins song) you Just want to praise him(m brown clark) because you trust him(james fortune) and he knows your worship is for real(bishop larry trotter)

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    1. Well, I said Im simply thankful to see another year... as in I may not have lived long enough to see it...

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    2. I know you did lady, I was just saying

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