Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What I am thankful for....

I am thankful for knowing what type of mother not to be...

i am thankful for knowing what type of friend to not be....

I am thankful for my struggles for I will be appreciative of when times will be easy...

I am thankful for Mister, for I know what type of man to stay away from....

I am thankful for all the no's, for i am grateful for A yes....

I am thankful for all of the material possessions I have lost, for I am appreciative of my meager belongings....

(Ionknow, the jury still out on this one, LOLOLOL, I am still pretty sore about my coach purses LOLOLOL)

I am thankful for the disappointment from friends and family, for it makes me especially appreciative and gracious to accept kindness from strangers....

I am thankful for being a late bloomer, for if I wasn't, I wouldn't have the life experience or have critical reasoning skills that is needed to do what I want to do....

I am thankful for every time i run for a train or bus and miss it, especially when i have laundry, for it teaches me patience and how to let shit go and how to not sweat the small stuff and to not get upset for  shit i cant control....

I am thankful for friends who fill me with disgust and forget where they came from for it teaches me how not to act once I am successful....

I am thankful for being a single mother, for it taught me to not be judgmental of others who find themselves in single parenthood...

I am thankful for being a victim of domestic violence for it has taught me a wealth of information that it is not always easy to "just leave"....

I am thankful for almost losing custody of my daughter for it has made me cherish her in way unimaginable....

I am thankful for not being able to purchase a cup of water on credit, for once I get myself financially secure I will appreciate what it means to be more financially responsible...

I am thankful for being kicked out of the so called popular online group, for it taught me to not be concerned about the quantity of friends, but the quality and that the ever elusive popular people are not all they are cracked up to be...

I am thankful for being able to curb my own habit of 'keeping it real' because sometimes, it is about needing to get the message across without being offensive, for if you are so offensive, the message is lost...

I am thankful for every Thursday night me and MiniMe got home from my class at midnight, for I will cherish and appreciate my degree just that much more....

I am thankful for flunking out of school the first time and for having the courage to go back, for I learned I am not as stupid as I thought....

and finally....

I am thankful for people not being the friend to me that I have been to others, for it teaches me to not expect for people to do what I would do...

Michael Vick pleads to state dogfighting charge - NFL - Yahoo! Sports

whaddya think of this????

Monday, November 24, 2008


No showing, advertising, displaying, decorating, singing, swinging or getting merry like christmas until AFTER Santa has made his appearance at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade!!! Got it??? Good!!!!

"Friendship" A holiday message from The Obamas


Saturday, November 22, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008


  Do you support the death penalty???

if so, can you explain to me is the death penalty worth innocent people, or shall i say, the wrongfully convicted,  losing their lives??? 

if you are for it, why or why not?

If you are against it, why or why not?

i am not trying to pick an argument, i am just trying to get a better understanding of peoples views.  please.... be respectful of different view points.

my thing is, the whole thing is based upon the potential of human error.  The Jury. yeah, there are some cases that are open and shut, but are those being rightfully put to death worth the lives who are wrongfully convicted just so the sociopaths get what they deserve?

Commentary: Why would parents give up hope for their kids? - CNN.com

Could you? would you?? for those who have followed me know that i most certainly can understand it. read the article before commenting.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I just.... can't heppp myself

Every year I wonder how Imma out do the last year's Christmas.  Last year it was the damn princess castle. Spend 100 bucks on that just for it to come in my store this year for $39.99...

so as I am perusing the internet and I come upon the disney princess kitchen....

and I already have this on layaway at work. it came in for 49.99.

the funny thing about this is that if you look at the first picture, she already has a vanity, that thing with the star on it.  but i saw this and was like i gotta get this!!! She loves everything Ariel!!!!

but, i aint gonna mention, she already has a kitchen too! *hangs head*  see, the ocd moment in me is that everything has got to match!!!


Somali Pirates Tell Their Side - They Want Only Money - NYTimes.com

I didn't know this is going on. I will be back later to weigh in!

Women's Restroom LMAOOOOO We have all been there...

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless, thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN
there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.  It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you toilet paper under the door!!!!!!!!

Translucence - The Secret Wound


Monday, November 17, 2008

The QUEEN strikes again....

yanno, it takes a real dumb, simpleton, idiotic, space cadet of a mofo-ette to go buy some cucumbers knowing full and damn well I didn't have a cutting knife.  I had the same one knife in this camp that i moved here with 2 years ago and that bitch finally broke on me about two weeks ago.  Now, the beauty of this is, is that i have been to a Walmart at least a dozen and 3 times in the last two weeks and one would think my simple ass would have remembered to buy one or two.  So here I was tonight, peeling and cutting a cucumber with a damn butter knife.


My hand hurts....

Saturday, November 15, 2008

I am tired.... (edit in comments)

<disclaimer: this is a pity blog>

I am tired of writing these kind of blogs... but i am tired. 

for my drugs and crime class, i have to go to an AA, CA and a NA meetings.

I already took MiniMe to the AA meeting, it was a meeting just for women so I was like, that ought not be too bad, it will be only women and maybe a kid or two. who knows.  BUT, i know they held back because of the kid being present.

Now for the cocaine and narcotics meeting, i had no intentions of taking her.  trying to get to meeting classified as "open" is tricky, cuz they only come up at certain times of the month and there is only ONE narcotics meeting that i can actually get to effectively by bus this month and it is at 9pm. 
so we talking about a late at night meeting of former/current drug addicts at a halfway house that is 1.5 hours away on bus and train.

all i am thinking about is the kind of derelicts that are hanging out there.

and coming back on a Saturday night with a kid.

my mother was suppose to watch her and she calls me and asks me if my friend would watch her for 20 bucks. and i am like she makes over 40K, she could care less about 20 bucks.

my mother says that she had her adult only card game at church and she is in too much pain to have to keep up with a kid. all she wants to do after her game go home, pop some pills and go to bed. did i mention this is at night and taylor would be sleep?

i am not begrudging the fact that she is in pain, but it is not like taylor is that kind of kid and I DID ask her in advance.

so i asked my friend and she said i was REALLY asking alot. 
i cant ask my god-family cuz they tired of being the only ones helping.

in my delerium, i seriously thought about leaving her here by herself. i can't believe i am saying that outloud. but i REALLY didn't want her to go to this meeting and I really HAVE to go for class, i have to write a paper about all three.

and no, i am not gonna leave her here, but i seriously understand WHY some single mothers judgement have gotten clouded and have done so.

i am tired of blogging depressing shit. crying, being depressed. wishing i never came back to chicago.  every time things start looking up... man oh man

its like my a different friend said depend on myself.  do what i have to do. even if that means taking my daughter to cocaina dnd narcotics meetings.

i am really trying hard to keep my head up. i really am. but it is getting hard. the closer i get, the hard it is for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

i have cried, i have blogged, now i have to get us ready to go.

*trying really, really, REALLY hard to keep my head up*

I already know the answer to this BUT....

so, graduation is approaching me and people are putting the grad school buzz in my ear.

dayum, can i get through the paralegal certification in the spring???

I mean, at least half of a dozen are telling me to push straight forward with it, get it over with, cuz me being me, i aint gonna be satisfied with just a bachelors.

sooooo, a friend of mine was telling me about the University of Cincinnati graduate program in criminology and the beauty of this is is that it is fully online. so, no matter where i go i can still study...

but i am wondering how much of a break i should give myself.

and me being me, i like to get shit done in a hurry, lmaoooo

i fast tracked my bachlors.

about to fast track the paralegal program by doing what is typically a 1-2 year program down to 18 weeks. lmaoooo

now, this school offers the masters in criminology in a year.  16 classes in 4 terms in one year. *whew*

but, they do offer it in 2 years, but if imma do it, i wanna be finished RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

i must be a glutton for punishment. lmaooo

So what is the question???? I am not quite sure!!! LMAOO

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Gang's 'chief enforcer' gets 40 years in prison :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Metro & Tri-State

adios amigos

Thousands pay respects to family killed in crash :: Herald News :: News

This made me cry today.

Ode to the laptop...

Oh laptop, oh laptop

how i will miss thee

i have to take it back you see

shit, who am i kidding??? i am not a poetry writer.

but i did sumffin foolish, i knew i couldn't afford it when i bought it....

i even bought it refurbished, trying to save money....

but a chicken has come home to roost.....

i was hoping it wouldn't

that it would be taken care of...

but never-the-less

that chicken is roosting rather loudly...

oh the convenience of a traveling computer!!!!

one day dear laptop!

ONE DAY!!!!!!

*hangs head*

Monday, November 10, 2008

From one extreme to another....

Now, as many of you may know I have been smoke free now for almost 7 weeks. or is it 6?

Anywayssss, I had the most pleasurable of pleasures of being relentlessly plugged up do to giving up smokes and coffee at the same time...

Fortunately, that situation for the most part worked itself out. I never made it to regular, but I wasn't plugged up either...

Now the cup runneth over....

You see, back before I started smoking 10 years ago, I had severe stomach acid.  They never could diagnose me with either acid reflux or ulcers because of the range of symptoms I had.

Most food caused me the worse acidic belches one could ever imagine...

The belches smelled worse than the gas....

Most times, I couldn't keep food IN my stomach....

What I could keep IN would liquefy and within an hour or two, it came out the other way...

The sound of my stomach was very loud, especially after I had eaten...

There was a nonstop pain and burning sensation in my stomach that was just absolutely unimaginable....

I couldn't drink alcohol and lost about 40-50 pounds.

See, what had happened was, I used to be very external in dealing with stress.  Once I realized that snapping on people wasn't always the best thing to do, I started to internalize EVERYTHING.

And then suddenly...


it went away...

Now, it is back with a vengeance. 

I am now realizing that smoking is how I dealt with stress and now that I am not smoking, the stomach is taking a hit.

A very bad one at that.

I have been having this acidic belching now for about two weeks.  The more I had them, the more scared I became because I knew what was coming....

Well, on Saturday, we went to the Cheesecake factory (still deciding if I am gonna blog about that *rolls eyes*) and was up all that night until the morning.  The pain, my God, I forgot how bad it could be.  I was on the verge of asking The Queen's Mother and debating the odds if she would actually take me to emergency room....

And it has been on and popping ever since....

I didn't eat anything on Sunday and I just ate an hour ago and have already visited Mr. Porcelain. 

Pills, Mylanta, pepto, none of that shit works... That is what baffled to docs the most.

The only thing that works is to abstain from food and most liquids....


Anybody got any plugs???

Welcome to Cy's WonderWorld!     - No Mistress Material---You're beautiful

for all you who couldnt access it on 360....

Friday, November 7, 2008

Oh Dear God NOOOOO!!!!!

I look like a graduating jabba da hut! *sniffles*

sooo, today's my birthday...

I typically dont make a big hullabaloo over my birthday.

I have had a birthday party once when I was 5 and that is it.  When I lived in Minnesota, my friends and I would go live it up for my birthday, those were great times.

Since I have moved to Chicago, the birthday situation, and yes it is indeed a situation, has gotten more uncomfortable than anything.  there is usually some shared birthday combo dinner with my grandfather, mother and stepfather. a dinner filled with being uncomfortable and forced conversation.

my mother is really out done with grandfather telling me I couldn't use his computer to finish my paper cuz it may become a habit....

Apparently, no one else can can make me feel like shit but her! LMAOOO

So she spared me this year of the dinner! *whew*

Every birthday, I say, next year will be better. I am gonna have a blast, gonna have loads of friends to celebrate with and every year, guaranteed, here i sit. LMAOO

One day, it will happen. I wont be stuck in this house, and I will be patient.

I think I need to stop equating my success to how many people I know and socialize with.

This year will be the last year in which I won't be degreed, and for that, I am extremely happy about.

I finally quit smoking, and I am happy for that as well.

It would be nice if I could get me some, but alas, his license is suspended. pfffffffffft

All in all, it is not too bad. I usually spend the day in tears, crying and bawling my eyes out and this year I am alright. Feeling pretty good actually.

Thanks everybody for the birthday wishes, you all almost made me feel popular! LMBOOOOO



quote of the day!

I can see the moon from my backyard, but that don't make me an astronaut!!! ~~ Steve Harvey LMAOOOO

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Signed, Sealed, Delivered Im Yours - Stevie Wonder

Employers not heeding call to close early for Obama rally - Chicago Breaking News


QOTD: How did your vote go???

I voted last Thursday, I waited 4 hours to early vote so I wouldn't have to worry about it today.

MiniMe's schools is a polling place, and the principle got spooked at the potential for chaos today, so he canceled school today. , That really went over well at work. LMAO I laugh but Imma be out of a job in a minute! lmaoo It is kind of funny though, my job is located downtown Chicago, in the heart of where the big party is going to be. The mayor asked all businesses to close early, as a security precaution and so people can get the hell out of downtown and my store is remaining open.

I guess the potential for making money with maybe 100,000 people descending upon downtown Chicago is just too much to pass by.

Anywaysss,  Mom went at 5:45 this morning, was in the front part of the line and was done 20 minutes  after the polls opened at 6.

When she left, the line was halfway down the block and my grandfather was at the end of the line.

So, how did it go when you voted???  Was it quick, or a long wait???

I am sure it was pretty quick for this guy... LOL

Supreme Court to hear FCC appeal over dirty words

While we are all focused in on the election, the Supreme Court is slated to hear about the censorship of television, specifically, non cable stations.

whaddya think? should non cable television remain censored since cable tv is relatively uncensored. keep in mind, cable is in 9 out of 10 households.


That Elizabeth *girl* is an idiot. did anybody just see that whole little exchange?

The Queen's Graduation

Start:     Dec 19, '08 1:00p
Location:     Auditorium Theater
I graduate today!!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

OK, so tell me if I was trippin

i know i get a little high strung sometimes....

so maybe it is me,

maybe i read too much into what he said...

but something about trying to "pinpoint" the location of some kids just didnt sit right with me...

another friend of mine said i was trippin, but, to his defense, he is a male... LOL

i aint looking for cosigners....

just wanting to know if I have become too cynical already...

but I aint gonna tell ya'll that he sent me a picture of a location that is literally right down the street,,,

*sitting on hands*

Yanno,i done figured out why I am having a PARTICULARLY hard time writing my paper this semester:NO SMOKES. Sitting at the computer, smoking and writing a paper went hand in hand.

Can somebody pass me a cigarette please????

I lie, cuz, I have to admit, I tried to smoke one two weeks ago and oh GOD it hurt sooo bad! BUt sometimes, I wish I could be like some people who can smoke one or two a day without feeling the need to smoke the whole pack.

But right now, I can't concentrate!

Saturday, November 1, 2008