Sunday, February 22, 2009

Wednesday, February 18, 2009



5 is the magic number!!!!

If anybody remembers the story of me shaving my eyebrow and the situation that occurred when I was 5 (if not click here).

Well anywayssss, last night, my beloved 5 year old daughter decided she wanted to be like Mommy and shave her legs, unbeknown to me.  I am doing what I do when she is in the tub, getting hair and pajama stuff ready and next thing I know I hear a blood curdling scream come out the bathroom.  I run to the bathroom and low and behold there she is screaming pointing at her leg, blood spilling pretty quickly.
Soo, I get her out the tub, sit her ass on the toilet and try to see the damage. Meanwhile, I am ask her what on EARTH was she doing and she says while screaming bloody murder how she was trying to shave her legs like me!!! Sooo, I am trying to assess the damage, the little drama Queen won't let me near it and I am like I have to be able to see how bad it is Taylorrrrr!!! But noooo Mommy, it is gonna hurt!!!! Sooo, I finally get some of the blood away and she takes a good look at her wound and screams...


that was it for me, you know I died laughing right? LMAOOOOOOOO I know, I am such a bad Mommy, but shit, her ass is funny!!! She is screaming about where her skin is and I am to the point of tears and then she says....


And I fell out again! LMAOOO Oh Jesus, I am in tears now while trying to type this. LOLOLOL

Sooo, then I get the hydrogen peroxide and her ass tries to bolt!!! Where she think she is gonna go while my big ass is blocking the door (I knew what was up) I don't know! LMAOO  So after much wranging with me trying to hold her ankle while she is flailing about, I managed to pour the peroxide on the sore...


 which allowed me to see how bad it was.  She just shaved about 2 inches of her skin off.  In between all the screaming she is screaming for a bandaid and I am like, I cant put one on until I get it to stop bleeding and finally, she calmed down, I got the bleeding to slowed down enough for me to get her bandaged up and on her way.

This morning was fun too cuz i had to risked getting kicked again while attempting to clean the wound and get her re-bandaged.

OH!!!The joys of motherhood!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The best lesson is a bought one...

Twice some in my life I allowed a good man to get away. Lemme 'splain...

The first guy was my roommate's (I shall call T) boyfriend. (thats a hell of an into huh? lmao) Well see, what had happened was, my roommate (good friend at the time we moved from Minnesota to Atlanta together) met this guy I shall call D.  So one day, he knocks on the door to pick her up for a date.  For whatever reason, I just so happened to open the door.  When I looked at him I was struck for a moment and I clearly remember thinking that the look on his face was damn, I met the wrong roommate.  Me being who I was at the time, very unsure of myself and knew that no man that fine was looking at me, besides that, that was my roommates date so I dismissed that notion very quickly and proceeded on about my business.

Well the relationship with the roommate dissolved within a few months. It was very ugly, no need for details, I dont have the wherewithall at the moment to explain it.  Soo, one day out the blue, I was working my night shift at Waffle House and here comes D. I hadn't seen him for awhile, we chit chatted and I sent him on his way.  Well, if memory serves me correctly, he came in and ate during my shift and me being the aloof person that I am, didn't put two and two together.  Well, one day, he says to me that the first time I opened the door he felt like he had met the wrong roommate and I remember thinking, damnnn, that is the same thing that I was thinking!  I believe he was drunk that night so I really didn't pay much attention to him.  He moved away to Florida and one day, once again he reappeared.  This time, he gave me his number, we talked, eventually the do went down.  Slowly but surely, things progressed as it were and he invited me to visit him in Florida.  Well, the day I was suppose to go down there my check engine light came on and I couldn't go.  He was pretty pissed about it because he had made extensive plans, babysitter (sole custody of his twins), tickets to Bush Gardens etc...

I know I am not following the events in order of succession, but I remember several things that stood out for me.  First, I couldn't get over him having slept with my ex friend. When we slept together that one time, it was awkward for me, simply cuz all i kept thinking was that he was with T.  Second, he had had a vasectomy and at that time I wanted kids badly. Yeah, he had kids and his thing was, he already had three, whoever he is with can have his. and i was like, unh, unh, not the same partner. /third, we had a couple of conversations about how he always felt it was me he should have met first and everytime he saw me he felt that way.  I remember T used to get pissed cuz we were both two tall silly goofies (T was a much more serious person than either one of us were) who would always joke, tease and play with one another.  For me it was rather innocent cuz yanno, oftentimes, I am not that aware, i guess for him, not so much. LOLOL

Later on, he told me that she would be quite furious about his interactions with me.  I guess in hindsight, she had a feeling that something was amiss on his end. 

Soooo, I remember I was really starting to feel him in a bad way, but I really  just couldn't get past the fact that he was with my ex-friend.  When we finally stopped communicating, it was right after I was suppose to go to Florida.  And I finally told him that I couldn't do it, I felt to bad about myself for having done so and quite frankly, I couldn't get over feeling like I was second best.  (which he said wasn't true *shrugs shoulder*

My whole point in this particular story is that damn facebook is the devil. LOLOL Makes you search (thats right gun to my head and all LOLOL) and I found him and it brought back all of these feelings, emotions and memories.  He is happily married, apparently, he reversed the vasectomy and they had another child together.  Although I am happy for his happiness, success and good life....

I can't help but wonder what if....

I aint got it in me to go into the second story right now.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Blasting off 3....

Why is it whenever I have just cleaned my floors on my hands and knees, something springs a leak in my house causing repair people to come in therefore causing footprints??

Why is it I cant find the dustpan that took me 2 years to buy in the first place?

Why do I have 8 forks but only 3 spoons?  Where the fuck does the spoons go in the first place???

Yanno I still haven't bought a potato peeler right? Been in the apartment a little over 2 years and STILL no potato peeler! LMAOOO

I was home all day and didn't watch Oprah this morning! Oh thats right, my ass was still sleep. damn...

Ya ever notice that when the house is not at its cleanest the devil is running rampant all up and through there?

I am only halfway finished with the bedroom and off to the living room I go. I gotta do that once the baby is down for bedtime.

How about I have bought TWO V-tech game power cords only for them bitches to stop working?!?!?!?!?!?  I can barely turn the console on with the batteries. WTF is that shit about???

Why can't I ever use the bathroom in peace? When does this end exactly? Cy says NEVER as long as you have girls.

I need another closet. Shit, I only have two. pffffffffft on that shit!

Can somebody give me some kind of formula for energy? I mean seriously, this sleeping disorder I think I have is a bit out of control.  I slept 11 hours last night and was still tired as shit when I got up. I woke up with a killer sleep headache crawling up my neck coupled with a caffeine headache. It took me a couple of hours to snap out of that. 

 Do you know I have to have 3 alarm clocks going off just so I can get up? The first two start to pull me out of my sleep so that by time the third one goes off I will hear it and get up. 

Do you have any idea how many times I have slept through all 3 alarm clocks and wake up at the time I am suppose to be at work????

I mean seriously, I can drink a redbull and carry my ass right to bed! I think they have worked for me twice and now a no go.

One time, I drank a Starbucks double shot and cleaned the whole house in 2 hours! I was like FINALLY some shit to get my ass moving!!! It was a one time deal though, that doesn't work anymore either.

I had the windows open today trynna air this place out! Now we are freezing! LMAOOO

I think my landlord comes in my apartment when I am not home and closes my windows. One day he called me and told me to please close my windows during the winter cuz mice will get in! Uhhhhhhhh DUDE, if they climb up two stories on the side of the building them mofos DESERVE to get in! LMAOOO I mean seriously, just say you don't want your heat escaping through the windows. After 3 winters here, he has finally realized not to burn my ass up! The Queen doesn't do heat! Umkay boo-boo???

Can somebody please tell my mother that Purex fades your clothes??? I ain't ungrateful and all, but MiniMe's clothes looks like she has had them for yearssss!!!!

How about 2 pairs of MiniMe's blue tights have straight disappeared!  Somebody tell me, where 'dem bitches at???

Speaking of... Whats with MiniMe eating half a sandwich, then on the other half, just eating the bread and cheese and leaving out the bologna??

And somebody tell me, how does that sound out to BALONEY???

How about my landlord is gonna pitch a natural fool when he finds out that I have broken the glass light cover?? How do you ask? By snapping my sheets high in the air!! LMAOO

How about I have done that shit 3 times in my life???

How about my tax money is gone and I did not get to buy ONE thing for myself?? I guess rent is important! LMAOO Dammit I need my ends clipped.

How about yesterday I did a weeks worth of work in 1 day and came home hurting so bad my toenails was hurting??? They still trynna ache just a little bit.

Why are kids so damn nassy and junky? SPLAIN that shit to me if you will...

How about I was washing the walls today??? Shit I'sss tiiiiiiiiiiide!

I wish I could be one of those mofos who can stay up day and night and get all kinds of shit done.  Don't them kinda mofos make you sick???

Can somebody tell me how to read my textbooks without falling asleep?? Last semester was MURDER!!! How I finished with 2 As and a B+ is BEYOND ME!!! And this semester ain't looking too good either.

Last but not least....

How about I ain't did not ONE LICK of homework this weekend??? Guess Imma be up tonight, if I don't fall asleep.

Friday, February 13, 2009

My lesson for today....

One of my professors sent us on a fishing expedition to get copies of petitions for dissolution of marriage (divorce) at the clerk of courts here in Chicago. Although she said we could try and find a blank one on line, she said it would be even better for us to go to the clerk office and get a copy for they are a matter of public record.  While many of my classmates went online to find a blank petition, I opted to go down there and see what is it that is to this because that may be one of my functions as a paralegal to obtain records, evidence, blah, blah, blah....

Anywhoooooo, I must say I am glad that I am always friendly to my customers here at TJ Maxx. Lets start there! LOLOLOL

I go in and the first person I see immediately recognizes me from my store.  Keep in mind, I am at the downtown location and see thousands of the same damn people every week who work downtown. (I swear, these folks need an intervention and a television cuz their shopping asses don't seem to realize that we are in a recession!!!)  Anyways, after the recognition and minor chit chat (of which I asked I hoped that I have always been friendly towards her and she was like yeah girl, you always in their handling your BUSINESS!!!) and she was more than willing to show me where I needed to go, how to use the computer, pull up names, case numbers and where to take the information to pull the actual records. 

Sooo, I do my bit at the computer, gather my info and make my way to the domestic records clerk.  So I get there and she too was like, don't you work for TJ MAXX??? and I am like yesss, so she gives me my records and sends me on my way.  After viewing them I realized I needed some more cuz those didn't have what I needed. Back to the computer I go, I come back with some more case numbers and she was like ,you are a student at Roosevelt aren't you? LMAOOOO How'd ya guess? LMAO!!

Sooo then she said, lemme go pull some cases for you that I know are active and children are involved. Sistahgurl HOOKED ME UP!!! She found this two cases, one of which was 6 inches thick! Sooo, I am perusing the case file and these two were acting a natural fool!  I am talking 3 years worth of litigation, filing of contempt of court on boith parties, blah, blah , blah! All kinds of shit going on.  Now mind you, I have to sift through all of this information just to get to the actual petitioin for divorce! *whew* I thought me and Mister went at it! LMAOO We aint got SHIT on them two!

Anywaysss, the whole interaction with the two ladies regarding my employment reminded me of two things...

First, I have had numerous customers come up to me and ask me when was I leaving TJ MAXX cuz I was too good to be working there! This would usually lead to conversations about my schooling, my impending degree and paralegal certification which lead to at least 3 people telling me to give them my resume when I am close to completion because don't you know they work at law firms that are always looking to hire good paralegals??

Second, had I been a rude ass to these to these two ladies in question at my store, things could have gone MUCH DIFFERENTLY cuz we all know city workers can be REAL ASSES!!!!

Being that I work downtown and many law firms are located in downtown Chicago, I *may* have an easier time looking for employment.  MANY, MANY people go to TJ MAXX to shop on their lunch breaks and I ALWAYS give good customer service.  Even if I tell you no, that something is against policy, blah, blah, blah it is ALWAYS with a smile on my face, a song in my heart followed by a 'sir' or a 'maam'.

Which brings me to the conclusion and the ever serving reminder to always be courteous to people in general cuz you NEVER know WHEN you may see them again.

Judges Plead Guilty in Scheme to Jail Youths for Profit -

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I don't know about anybody else BUT...

I am ready to go back to bed. 

I am sick of my hair flying away on one side of my head...

The reading for my classes is getting RIDICULOUS...

The homework, not so bad...

My damn neck is KILLING me thanks to an old injury courtesy of Misterrrs strangulation tactics. Every now and then I have a NASTY and very painful flair up...

I still have 400 smacks worth of books to buy....

I just spent 200 YESTERDAY...

I really, really need to go to the grocery store... It is a toss up between buying the rest of my books, paying on MiniMe's tuition OR going grocery shopping...

BUT, My rent is paid through March...

I really am thinking about taking some of what is left of my tax returns and getting my hair done.  But I am feeling that would be highly IRRESPONSIBLE of me.

I think Imma try for food stamps since my job is only scheduling me 18 hours a week! Maybe now I will *qualify* LMAOOO

*LMAO & SIGHSSS simultaneously*

I just did the calculation, they say I should get 323 a month! HA!!!

Professor Fiiiiiiiiine just entered the classroom so I must go...

BUT one  more thang!!!

I am stilllllllllllllll HORNYYYYYY!!!!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Monday, February 9, 2009

Implied INTENT for privacy...

Some of you may be like what the hell is she talking about now???  Recently, I was discussing with a friend about whether or not I would share information regarding what is on their private page.  And I reassured them that no, I would not.

My reason for bring this topic up is that as most of you may can tell, due to some drama last year, a good 95% of my blogs are contacts only.  Most of whom who I have on my contact list is because I see that we may have some things in common. 

My point in all this is that although this is a public forum if you will, I should reasonably be able to expect from anyone to not go out and blab my business and put me on front street about whatever it is I am venting about at the moment on a closed, contact only blog.  And I am not talking about innocent  flapping your jibs to your best friend, I am speaking of people putting contents of my private blogs as a form of ridiculing me and calling me out in someone else's comment section as a way to stay in your beloved in crowd.

I guess at the end of the day (DAMN YOU TEAL LOLOL), it is just too much for people to treat each other with decency and respect.  It is one thing if someone has done something absolutely mortifying (and I do mean MORTIFYING as in HORRIFIC, EGREGIOUS, AND whole bunch of words I am learning right now! lmao)  to you and it is quite another... well you get the picture.  If I have to describe the differences of such then silly you. more thing.....

One of the things that I used to like about Multiply was the ability to pick and choose who I want to be on the blog.  The reason why I liked it was so that we women(or you men) can post those most intimate questions and as mothers, we can protect our girl (or boy) from male predators and maybe just MAYBE we would have the ability to post SOME of our most personal business to our most inner circle. It seems that some of us are using that feature to talk shit about others and continue to fuel the drama and tension  that is now what Multiply IS and my thing is, if you feel the need to exclude members on your list more than INCLUDE those same people then why not delete them???

I know how this blog started, but I don't know how to end it.  All I can say is....

DAYUM!!! Ya'll ran Mr. Mike off due to bullshittery, tension and drama? WTF?????

Saturday, February 7, 2009


computer Pictures, Images and Photos

I still don't have internet! DAMN AT&T! Thursday they said they didn't know WHEN I would be reconnected, yesterday somebody called me and told me the 10th!


Sooo, right now I am having lunch at the corner bakery and I need to leave in about 10! I can't stand it!!!!
comp Pictures, Images and PhotosComputer Addict Pictures, Images and PhotosInternet Addiction Pictures, Images and Photos

Friday, February 6, 2009

I am not quite sure WHAT I paid 500 smacks for....

But here it is.. my class ring.

{{{DISCLAIMER}}} One snide remark about how big my hands are and that's your ASS!!!!!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

In MiniQueen doings....

The other day the teacher assistant pulled me aside and told me about my smart mouthed, albeit funny, child.  Apparently, the girls were lined up to go to the bathroom and another little girl was leaning against the wall. So the TA said if she wanted to sit she could sit in the classroom but do not lean on the wall.  Well my smart ass little girl quips...

"Well, she will be able to sit when she uses the toilet!"

LMAOOOO Now although one has to stifle laughter when she makes these little quips,I still have to put that little rascal in her place! LMAOO Mind your business kid! The TA was like, yanno, I had to tell her I wasn't talking to her, but it was funny!!!

A creature of habit....

Last month or so, my mom came over to get her ready for school. So before she got her up, I was discussing with her that maybe we should put her pants on instead of the jumper since in was really cold outside. And we were both like, I don't know. She don't handle change too well. So then we were pondering on whether or not to just put pants on or appease her (cuz we both knew we were gonna have to appease her in SOME way) and allow her to put the pants on under her jumper so she can just take them off once she got to school.  So we chose the last option.  My mom starts getting her ready at this point. Now typically, I am not home when this takes place. But today was my lucky day!!!!  So my mother was explaining the pants situation (it was a *situation*) by this point, and how it was particularly cold outside, blah blah blah and MiniMe says, without so much as blinking an eye..

"But O'mama, thats why I have on tights, to keep my legs from getting cold"

Ya'll, I died! I mean I was in the bedroom hollering! LMAOOOO She was sooooooo sincere! She was not about wearing the pants for it wasn't part of her uniform! Now see, everything would have been copisthetic had I told her the night before that she would be wearing pants in the morning. She would have had overnight to process that in her mind. You just can't spring new shit on her! LMAOO

last but not least....

MiniMe has it in her now that I should look pretty. In a 5 year old's mind, that means Mommy, do your hair, makeup and put on some nice clothes! LMAOO Forget chooo!!!  In the past she has told me that it wasn't fair for her to look pretty and I am not looking pretty. OK KID!  Then she told me that I need to "look pretty" so that I can find me a husband! Why is she so concerned about this? I mean, this has really gotten her goat as of late.  So when I washed my hair and rolled it the other day she woke up to me in curls and 'bout damn near had a strolke! LMAOO Mommy you look preeeeeeeetty! Ok sweetie thanks. And as I go to put on my sweats for school she asks incredulously...

"You wearing THAT???"

DAYUM gal I GOT the hint! sheeeeesh 

yanno, i know there is no such thing as a stupid question BUT...

...can ya at least stay on topic????

My professor briefly covered contract obligations regarding FMLA leaves and damn if this guy wants to show how smart he is suppose to be and ask a question about FMLA and the admistration who proposed it (which was wrong) and got so far involved with asking the question we were like whaaaaaa????

*insert crickets chirping*

and then another nut job wants to know about how long the Congress hotel employees has been striking....

*insert crickets chirping*

and yet another fool in rapid succession mind you, says she has a issue regarding her son exchanging his PSP station with another adult and it stopped working and was that a form of an oral contract???


And we are all sitting here like wtf???? you hear sighs and gasps and see people rolling their eyes!!!!

and its bad enough the professor goes off on loooooooong ass tangents, but really folks... must we encourage him???

Contract law, or rather commercial law (the class) is pretty a matter of fact. a lot of black and white and not too much gray? so uhhhhhhhh, whats the question again????

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Internet being held hostage... (AT&T on dat bullshhhh)

OK, so last Thursday, At&t was nice enough to suspend my internet service. Soooo, I call them to pay the bill (cuz i pay on a need-to-pay basis right now) and was told that my toll restriction (my long distance and I didnt care about that) and my internet would be reinstated in 4 hours. OK. Soooo, SIX hours later I call Habib and 'nem in India somewheres (at&t internet tech support) and they said they didn't get an order for that service. Hmmm OK.

Sooo, I hang up and call back and got a different Habib and HE told me that if I can get the confirmation number of the payment he can help me out.

Why is it you can hang up, call back and get an entirely different response AND the help you need???

 The one time I didn't actually write down the confirmation number for payment!!! PFFFFT So, me forever thinking, cuz AT&T's  NEW business hours suck (they close at 6pm now and on Sundays) I called phone tech support. Sooo, they didn't have access to the confirmation number but he did give me the  order number for the reinstatement of service BUT with one glitch, the internet isn't on there. *sighs* So I call Habib and 'nem BACK and to no avail, the order did not have internet on it.

Sooo, I couldn't call Friday, and called Saturday.  after being transferred THREE times, I finally find out that I have to order new service because my internet was off so long. Huhhh??? It was off for 6 hours prior to payment. Well see, we sent the signal to disconnect out to your box on January 8th and as far as our records are concerned, you have been disconnected since January 8th and your service has been interrupted too long to be reinstated, you have to reapply, have your credit checked, etc, etc and be approved for internet. and I am like well why not do the same for long distance, it has been off since BEFORE the 8th!!!!

no answer. of course.

Sooo, dude then does the application and by this point I have been on the phone for 30 minutes and I am waaaaaaaaay overdue to go back to work.  So I tell dude this and he says, ok, no problem, give me your work number and i will call you back if there are any problems, if I don't call you everything is good.

Sooo, I go home, still no internet. Call Habib and 'nem back and they have no order on file. *sighssssssssssssssss*

By this time, I am ready to blow a GASKET!!! Especially since I have to wait until MONDAY to call them.

Soooo, on yesterday I call them and finally got the order placed. OK. Dude tells me it will be two days. UNH UNH buddy! Not acceptable! I know there has GOT to be a way to get turned on more quickly. so he says he will send me to internet tech support and i was like OH HELLSSSSS NO!!!! So they can keep calling me Sir...

(there must be no women in their country with deep voices and someone needs to train them fools that RobertAAAAAAA is a FEMALE NAME DAMMIT CUZ IF THEY CALL ME SIRRRR ONE MO GIN IMMA BE PADDLING A ROW BOAT ACROSS THE PACIFIC OR ATLANTIC TO FIND THEM press one for english MOFOSSSS!!!)

*deep breath*

Anywaysss. dude says he is going to make sure that he finds me somd eone American born with no accent and says he will be right back... So he comes back, and sure nuff, i get someone American born and this bitch has got a TUDE!!!! WTF????  Sooo, after calmly explaining the situation and nicely asking if my internet service could be expedited and this chick proceeds to tell me how they just can't flip a switch (I was cool till she said this) and I am just going to have to wait until Wednesday.

*exhales real harrrrd like*

I know perfectly well that AT&T just don't merely flip a switch and I also know that the girl told me on Thursday that my service will be reinstated in 4 hours and that AT&T has an obligation to honor that. BUT FOR (I love the legal jargon I DO understand LOLOL); had the original technician told me on Thursday that I would need to order new service I would have internet right now soooo how about you find somebody to help me, better yet transfer me to complaints cuz I am done talking to you about it.

And then she says, well if you would like to complain you need to go to



Oh no she didn't hang up on me?!?!?!?!?! At this point, two hours have passed by so then I called back and gave whoever who answered the phone an EARFUL. Poor thang. LOLOL He told me to write the executive office, blah, blah, blah and Imma still have to wait until Wednesday for my internet.


Meanwhile I am done with ATT and their bullshit! For real!!!! I am switching to WOW and have my cable bundled in for the same price. FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!

And have you heard about job IN SOURCING back to the United States??? Folks is TIIIIIIIIRED of Habib and 'nem and their only-speakin-english-when-its-convenient- asses!!!!