Thursday, March 24, 2011

Day 5, 6, 7, & 8.. (I know Im cheating but Ive been busy this week)

Sorry... Im a little behind on the blogging a day deal but Ive had a pretty busy week....

So here we go...

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life...

DOUBLE HEADER: Pray in public AND allow God's Perfect Will be done in my life. That Im able to allow the Spirit of God to work in me or through me.

*EFFORTLESSLY*

Yess... that is what I pray about the most and knowing what His purpose is what for my life... Ive got to get this praying/testifying/preaching/teaching thing together... I know its coming...

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do...

Its simply unspeakable and since words have power, whether written or spoken.... I dare not speak on it. PERIOD. This particular thing use to haunt me terribly, I would dream about it, ,wake up in the middle of the night with the shakes but praise God the dreams finally stopped! ..

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for...

GOD. I praise God, so thankful, overjoyed, gleeful, happy, excited to see the miracles He has worked in my life! OMG!!! I never thought I could get to this point of sheer happiness.. Just happy in God. There is this song that Ive been listening to, "My Worship is For Real" and one of the lyrics is "I should have been dead, sleeping in my grave, but he made my enemies behave" and OMG that just resonated with me! I should have been dead! Car rolled over 4 times and I climbed out the window with nothing but a scratch on me... I should have been dead, sleeping in my grave... I was with a man who strangled me for sport... 4 months pregnant and I saw my death in his eyes and thought.. thats it.. this is how Im going out... I should have been dead sleeping in my grave!!! This same man unknowingly exposed me to HIV repeatedly until we found out! God spared me with His Mercy while I was living in all kinds of sin. MERCY! Just thank you God for mercy! My worship would be different but God saw another purpose for my life that I couldn't even see myself... I COULDVE BEEN DEAD... SLEEPING IN MY GRAVE!!! For years.. I walked around on earth.. dead.. walking dead.... Just Dead.. sleepin in my grave as I mindlessly walked through life. Dead cuz I couldnt see past being victimized. Dead because I stayed in a constant state of pity parties. Dead because I was always depressed. Dead because i was mean and hateful and didnt have friends cuz no one wanted to be around me and my negativity and foul mood. Dead in my spirit. dead in my soul.

Just.

Dead.

My darkest moment came when I considered sending my daughter to my ex-abuser to live so I could end it for myself. But thank you God! Joy came in the morning! And now my joy lasts from morning until night.... Thank you God! For keeping me alive and for your mercy! And as I actively choose not to sin by the ways of my flesh and God keeps pouring His Grace on my life! Thank you God for your Grace! Thank you God for thinking of me when I couldnt think for myself. Thank you God for seeing and knowing the purpose for my life when I couldn't see anything but darkness! Just Thank you God!! Thats Why My Worship is FOR REAL!!



Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you really bad...

Mister. or My mother.. sometimes I used to think there was a competition between the two. LOL SMH But thank you God for deliverance and for teaching me and getting me to understand the power of FORGIVENESS and letting it go! Just thank you!! Not even worth typing what they did cuz it doesn't even matter anymore!

Be Blessed!!

3 comments:

  1. lacreasewalker.comMarch 24, 2011 at 11:36 PM

    POWERFUL!!!!! YOU ALWAYS BLESS ME WITH YOUR TESTIMONY. ALWAYSSSSSS CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU SIS AND MY NIECE!!!

    Lacrease

    ReplyDelete
  2. I honestly couldn't even conceive committing to blogging daily; particularly since I know it wouldn't happen.

    ReplyDelete