*sighs*
My pride has always been a major source of contention with me. I've found out recently that not being able to ask for help is a form of self-centered behavior. Im almost in tears writing this because this is one of those subjects that I keep near to my heart.
Today I once again found myself without a sitter so I can go to work... so I had planned on taking MiniMe to work with me. No biggie. I've done it many times before and I will do it again... well today, MiniMe had other ideas... she came up to me while we were at church and asked if she can go with her 2 favorite people from church for the day... and then I asked... well... were u invited?? And she says well they aren't doing anything Mommy! But still were u invited?? And boy did she maneuver herself right where she wanted to be. LOL SMH It worked out in her favor... but Im always drilling the point in to her of not inviting yourself places with people, if people want u to come along they will invite you, u don't want to wear out your welcome nor do u want to be burdensome. I really sometimes despise when MiniMe bounces up to people begging or asking for something. Im always worried that people are going to think Im putting her up to it.
Ive been willing to compromise what I know isn't right as a mother to keep from asking for a sitter. How awful is that? Each time I get to that point God saves me.
I guess a the problem has always been with me, but I was always able to work out my own issues and handle me and mine since I had two jobs. Im not able to do that anymore now that Im a single parent.... I guess it wouldn't be so bad if people were a little bit less obvious about hiding their disdain... when you can see someone trying to figure out how not to help while trying to figure out how not have it come across that they dont want to be bothered.
then to00... i could just be paranoid...
Ohhhh can't wait for this segment of begging to be OVER WITH..
Im so glad to see you blogging again Sis.
ReplyDeleteThat PRIDE can be something else. I know. I use to have it bad, and still find myself with it. I use to be a selfish person sometime,s but when I opened up to give, give giv,e I found out that there were people just like me. Wouldnt take a thing from me because of Pride. That frustrated me because I knew they needed it, or could use the help. That reminded me of myself and saw first hand how PRIDE is UGLY. As I was learning to give more, I realize thats how blessings are able to flow in my own life. We cant keept turning down blessings when others want to bless us. That means they will turn ours down. We are real quick to ask God to help us, not realizing that by others helping us, we are receiving it. God will not come down here to help do the blessing, HE SENDS PEOPLE TO DO THEM. WOWWWWW. I had to learn this myself.
My revelation in pride came in my discipleship class on Self centeredness and how pride is a form of self-centeredness and really a trick of the enemy. My God... Every time it comes time for me to ask or receive a blessing I nut up.My God.. and the bad thing is that Im putting my burden on my child. SMH @ ME.
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