The Queen of Getting One's Panties in a bunch.... smh @ myself LOL

Sooooooo, today was the day of reckoning.  I went to the financial aid office to find out how on earth they overpaid me by 1500 big ones.  Sooo, i was seen by some Asian chick (the race will be relevant later lol) who kept trying to explain to me that THEY didn't make a mistake.  Since I graduated in December my financial aid award changed. ok. i get that. but uhhhhh yall have known that since August soooo, how isn't it your fault again??? So then she got frustrated with me (cuz I wasn't letting up) and said lets talk about the paralegal in the spring and money for that and then i said. Can't talk about something I can't register for now can we????  I then said, I already know from my visit here in September about my reward for spring and I also know I will have a balance that I have to pay of a grand, HOWEVER, I can't pay for that grand plus the 1500 you guys over paid me so what else is there for us to talk about unless you about to tell me something different. So then this chick had the nerrrrve to say....

"well you did just received x amount of dollars"

and???????????? what in the shit does that have to do with the price of tea in China??? I used that money to pay bills since I only worked 2.5 days a week!!!

So then she got a little stoic. more like non-flipping-chalant and I don't remember what she said but I know I was ready to knock her slant eyes straight (i told you lol and yes that was my actual thought) when I said yanno what? stop pacifying me and get me somebody who is over you who can FIX THIS.
 
and I got up and stormed off...

Soooo, after i got an appointment (sucks teeth) to see the director next week (*sighs) I went to the bursar and told them what happened and the lady said that no, I wouldnt be able to register until the bill is paid.  But she was nice enough to give me the number to the person in collections to see if I could work something out. 

So then I went to the lounge and got on the puter for a sec.  then I left and went to the 7/11.  As I was walking to the store, I was really really REALLY distraugt. I am like what am i gonna do? I am gonna be stuck at this store for another damn Christmas!!! And the thought of that is enough to send me over the edge by itself!!!!  This meant I would have to sit this semester out, try and pay off the bill and then enroll in the fall. Something I didnt want to do because first, I want to be in a new job by fall, second, i vowed that minime wasn't going to be dealing with me in school during her first grade year and prolly not until high school will i attempt my masters, and third, I aint gonna be able to move out of this place (chicago, to hell with moving out the apartment LOL)!!!!  So all of this is going through my mind. all while I am walking. All while I am picking out my junk food for the night.  I mean I was in despair and on the verge of tears! To the point of doubting what my purpose is suppose to be in life.

As I go to pay for my goods, I realize that both of my debit cards are missing.

Shitttttt.

So i retrace my steps and go back to the school. Ask the lady at the receptionist desk and she said she had seen nada.

So I prayerfully went back to the financial aid office hoping and praying that they are still there for it is now after hours.  I look through the glass and see the VP and was like yessss!!!!

So he comes to the door and i ask if anyone had seen my debit cards and he says yes come on in.

Soo as I am waiting and he is searching trying to figure out what the secretary had done with them all the while he is busy fussing at me. He goes and finds someone else to help look and never stops fussing and was like why isnt it in your wallet? And I reply I was just kinda distraught as to why and how you guys overpaid me. So the lady says are you RLM and i am like yesssss and she says dont worry about it I took care of it.  Whaaaa?? HOw so? So then she started telling me about how she how I  stormed out of that chick's cubicle and that I kinda scared her and the students back there (yeah I remember the looks on their faces in hindsight lol) and she inquired as to what happened and pulled my file.  Well, it was their mistake. Actually hers. And she said she was sorry. that yes, the university knew when I was graduating and yes it was on my fafsa report and that it was actually HER mistake and for that she apologizes.

I was just like thank you and the tears flowed and I attempted to explain how I am trying to do everything right and how I keep getting obstacle after obstacle and how I really just couldnt take another thing and to tell the Chinese girl that I was sorry. LOLOLOL And I gave the lady a hug and just said thank you sooo much, cuz you dont know what I have been through.

First, it pays to be a dingbat. *whistling*
Second, I gotta stop reacting in such a manner that I go from one emotional extreme to another. Shoot, that is too much like bi-polarism and there is one to many of them in my immediate circle.
Third, the most important thing ever, I have got to learn to let go and let God. I am HORRIBLE about it. I just can't trust for Him or anybody else to have my back and it took for me to realize how losing my debit cards led me right back to that financial aid office to find out that problem had been resovled let me know just how powerful and how much in control God is. Everytime I get myself all in a state about something he always comes and fixes things. Most times, I dont even realize it until days later.

and what is even more amazing? LOLOLOL

I didnt think about it until after I was on the train home and I was like DAMMIT, I hope she didnt take money from next semester's aid to pay for it just to release my records!!!  Well sure nuff, after I got home and was sharing my testimony on the phone, I looked online and saw she used the university's money to fix it! *whew*  Hadn't made it half way home before I doubted God's power, mercy and his will be done. I know my purpose in life. It took 35 years and a lot of near heart failure, but I finally got it.