Monday, December 1, 2008

Doug's Campaign Celebration HeadQuarters - Crazy Christmas Shoppers Should Be Shot...
the situation behind this is not funny, but the delivery, have mercy!

1 comment:

  1. Large department stores should discourage this stupid sale bullshit. I think that's a marvellous start.

    However.... we know that places like Wal Mart are money hungry bastards and THAT isn't going to happen anytime soon so I suggest a few things.

    Find a better way of controlling the crowd. I think that single file chutes leading from the front door into the main shopping area is acceptable (much like you see for cattle) and then a maze should be constructed so that shoppers have to wend their way through - spotting items as they go and collecting them. Of course, all chutes would lead to different sections so that there wouldn't be a glut of people in one particular section.

    No shopping carts/trolleys/baskets allowed. You go in with yourself, and you come out with only what you can carry. This would make shoppers more aware of exactly what it is that they're grabbing and perhaps they could train themselves to only get what they really really want, rather than what they can clap their eyes and hands on.

    A pulley system should be erected so that once a shopper has their items, they could wave to an attendant who would then lower a giant steel claw that grabs them around the head and then transports them to a check out. If they drop some shit during this trip, too bad. It's there for the next person who stumbles upon it (and really really wants it) in the maze.

    Once the shopper is done at the checkout, they are then put on a giant slide and swooshed out 2 blocks away from the supermarket so that they're not encouraged to go back in and shop some more. Thus, saving money and saving lives.

    They also need security guards who can get out of the way faster.