Saturday, November 10, 2012

Day 9 of 30 Days of Thanksgiving: Admitting Im Wrong & Apologizing

Proverbs 12:1 
1 Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.

That's something isn't it? If you hate to be corrected and do not like to learn more about your flaws concerning yourself, means you are stupid. Stupid is a strong yet offensive word and something no one ever wants to admit about themselves. Especially when it comes to...

Admitting When You Are Wrong. 

You cannot even begin to apologize when you cannot admit you may have done, failed to do or said something to someone which may have hurt their feelings or offended them. 

Working in customer service has taught me this very important lesson, people appreciate when you can admit you are wrong and then set about a course of action to correct the wrong which satisfies your customer and will likely bring them back into your store. It has taught me people value and appreciate integrity and character that people give forth. 

I have learned through the course of the last few years to be quick to apologize and admit when Im wrong. Ive always hated to offend people, but would never apologize because apologizing would mean admitting some flaw about myself that I am not ready accept. 

At work, if I have made a mistake, I would quickly own up to my mistake and allow myself to be taught how not to make the mistake again. If I misspoke or accuse someone of not doing something I thought I told them to do, once Ive realize I was wrong about it, I will quick apologize and say hey, yanno what you are right, that was my fault. When supervising subordinates, being able to admit you made a mistake goes FAR in trying to motivate workers to move with a sense of urgency and do a good job. One time, I was in the office with my boss for giving an associate a scream job of a lifetime in front of customers, after he finished his speech, I said, you know what? I was wrong for my actions. No matter what this person said or have done, only I have control of my behavior and nothing she should have done should have made me react like that. 

The relief on his face was priceless. Maybe because he didn't have to write me up? Maybe it was because I made it easier for him to discipline me without it getting ugly? I don't know.  I do know it   was at that moment I was able to be taught by him and learn something about myself that caused me to react so poorly in the first place.  

There are so many benefits to being able to admit when you are wrong. People tend to believe you in other areas when you are able to admit you are wrong in the areas where you are wrong! No big science behind this statement. While being wrong is human, being wrong and lying or being dishonest about it makes you unethical and questionable in all other areas of your life. You will be looked at as a person of good character and integrity. Character is what you are in the inner core of our soul. Character is the management of your own imperfections and the world around you.  How can one say they are truly walking with Christ and say they have changed all these other issues but are not willing learn, accept and change other issues about themselves they need to be delivered from? This alone will make nonbelievers turn away from Christ and have Christians question your validity of your acceptance of Christ. Stupid much?

Being wrong allows us to make adjustments to our thinking.

Being wrong does not mean you are less of a person. 

Being wrong will create opportunities for people to accept us as a person. 

Being wrong allows us to have a clean slate. 

Being wrong allows us to reflect.

Being wrong offers an opportunity for change (repentance). 

Being wrong shows us we’re human.

Being wrong shows everyone else we’re human.

Being wrong allows us to learn from our mistakes

Being wrong offers us valuable feedback.

Being wrong gives us a chance to make amends.

I have learned to be quick to admit I am wrong and then apologize for them. If I have offended someone, I will apologize even if I know without a shadow of a doubt, I wasn't wrong but my delivery of what I said may have been wrong, or I may say it wasn't my intention to offend, or do whatever it is necessary to right that situation with that person. 

Ive encountered those who view this stance as some kind of weakness on my part. Or that Im desperate for their friendship. Or this makes me some kind of doormat. Or an easy target. Or a people pleaser. Or I am weak. Or I am not strong. 

I am none of those things. 

There is nothing that shows more strength and humility in a person than for them to freely and unashamedly admit when they are wrong. Admitting being wrong is very spiritually freeing and frees you from so much spiritual bondage and strongholds. Admitting you are wrong can even lessen your punishment. Think about those who have made the news who went court denying everything under the sun then have the book thrown at them. Think also about those very few, who admitted they were wrong and their punishment was lessened.

Have you ever been in an argument with someone who will defend their position to the death even when their is credible proof their position or their way of thinking is just FLAWED?? There is this thing in management called, perception is reality. If a person perceives you have offended them, more than likely you have. It could have been your delivery, your body language, the curtness of your voice, your abrupt words, etc.. Nothing chaps my hyde more than for you to tell someone how they have offended you and instead of accepting responsibility or trying recognize what it is they have said or done that was offensive; they try to JUSTIFY them (defending their position to the DEATH) their offense by pointing out what it is you did to make them offend you in the first place. 

This is when I started living by and adhering to the following verse: 

Proverbs 26:4-5
Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes. 

This is when I stop talking. This is when I walk away and leave them with their falsely perceived self-righteous thoughts. This is when I can see in them, how I used to be, in not being able to recognize my own flaws nor be willing to accept how I was wrong, learn from it, and then apologize. 

Here is the thing about this admitting you are wrong thing, you do not get to pick and choose what it is you are actually wrong about. That's the equivalent to picking out which commandments you are going to choose to follow. It doesn't work that way. Sin is sin. 

And finally, being wrong allows us the opportunity to be right. 

And so on this Day 9 of gratitude, I am thankful for allowing the love of Christ to flow in me and through me by being quick to admit when I know I am wrong, to be able to learn from my wrong, sincerely apologize from it and apologize even if I unintentionally offended someone .

Sometimes, eating crow, isn't half bad. 

‎"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." - Romans 12:2

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes we all need to look within. None of us is always right. I completely agree with you, being wrong and admitting it is part of our personal growth.....and we all need to grow and grow on a regular basis.