Friday, November 9, 2012

Day 8 of 30 Days of Thanksgiving: The Faith Behind Prayers

I remember when I thought my Grandfather would never change how he is. We love him, but he can be a bit of a trip!! He is usually  a bit self-absorbed, can have very selfish tendencies, a bit self-centered and a knack for saying what doesn't need to be said despite however truthful it may be. It's usually the delivery of it that will have you like WOW!! 

Since I have been here, he really didn't take much interest in me or MiniMe for that matter. I don't think there was any malicious intent, he just didn't. 

Up until today, I simply chose not to deal with him too much. I didn't avoid him, but I didn't seek him out either. 
However, a looong time ago, I prayed for him. Prayed for him without the thought in the very back of my mind "well he is never going to change." I prayed for him to come to peace about whatever it is that is haunting him, that he develops some form of Faith, and that he becomes more loving towards us, his family as a whole. 

Sooo on Tuesday, the day before my birthday, upon realizing I will be off from work this week, he invited me to lunch. Im not going to lie, I was trying to figure out if I should decline, then knowing I don't have a poker face, hoping that my saying yes didn't show the "no" on my face. But there was something in his eye, a pleading if you will.. so I accepted and we set a time for this afternoon. 

This grandfather of mine, is punctual to a FLAW. As I stated earlier, he is of the type, when it is time for a family gathering of sorts to go out to dinner, he will proclaim, "out the door time is 6:00pm!!!!" Then next think we know, its 5:45 and he is sitting in his car looking nervous and looking at his watch and we find ourselves scrambling like idiots busting out the door all at once!! LOLOL 

Sooo today, despite my best efforts to get up and out the house..ehhhh.. I too found myself, once again, scrambling like an idiot trying to bust out the door!! And running late.. and Im afraid Im going to see *the face*, but instead, he calls and I hear *the voice* LOLOL and immediately I say, Im 2 stops away.. and he says its ok.. but you told me the wrong restaurant, its Rudy's not Ruby's!! ehhh ok.. LOL

So I get there.. expecting to see the *face* but he is all good sitting at the bar, having his first adult beverage. Soo again, filled with dread, we sit at our tables and Im expecting that forcefully *polite* elephant in the room kind of conversation.. yanno the kind that is awkward at best. Amazingly enough, it wasn't. We talked about a variety of topics, shared some laughs, had a pretty doggone good time if I must say so myself. 

Previously, I have posted how my prayers for others, such as my daughter, were always answered, but never for myself. As I stated earlier, I prayed for him without the small seed planted in my head that he will never change (doubt). For me, Ive realized that even that small seed of doubt planted into the back of my brain will invalidate my prayers. For myself, I did not yet fully believe that God loved me and that He will take care of me and give me the desires of my heart. So when I prayed for it, that seed of doubt would be planted into the back of my brain, invalidating my prayers for a change to occur in my life. 

Simply put - the prayer of faith: is a prayer seeking help from God on any given subject. In other words - "Asking for Something" - and then (this is the important part) BELIEVING that God will give it to us or has given it to us and thereby receiving it by faith.  In other words, we believe that God heard, and answered our prayer when we prayed.

So check this out.. 

As we are leaving, he says, we should do this again sometimes. Im serious. We really need to do this again. The look in his eyes, told me a different story from what Ive known of him, it was a longing mixed with a little fear if you will. A longing to do something he has never done with me and thats establish a relationship and fearful I would reject his invitation. I happily accepted and said ABSOLUTELY! 

Now, he did say to me during lunch that he was glad I had lost the weight cuz I look soo much better and really needed to get that weight off of me. LMBO O_O

I can't say he has completely changed or that he will ever completely change, but I can say he has made a start. 

That little thought in the back of your brain you have while you are praying? Get rid of it. 

And on Day 8, for that I am grateful for. The start of change and the benefit of my now REALLY knowing and understanding the concept of Faith behind my Prayers. 

He is pretty sharp for 81 years of age now isn't he?

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.
 (James 1:5-7)

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