Monday, January 12, 2009

A Late QOTD: Why am I soooo SPOOKY?

I always make light of the fact and fun of myself that I am spooked to death at the prospect of  dating a man.  People always say that I should be more forward when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex.  More so, that I should approach a man first.

Soooooooo not gonna happen.

For me, approaching a man is the equivalent of saying here, take me nowwww I am desperate.

So then, I have the stare downs happening when I am on the bus or train. I look, he looks, I look away. LMAOOO I look again, he looks, I look away. And I wonder, how many opportunities am I passing up cuz of my irrational??? fear of not approaching a man first.

So then, lets say he does speak first. I will speak back. we may then hold a conversation and then he will offer me his number and then I am like ummmmm noooooooooo, I aint calling you, but.... you can call me. LOLOLOLOL

So then they think I am playing games. and I am not. They just don't know the fear they (men) hold over me. I mean, it is like pulling teeth. I really do feel sorry for them. LOLOLOL Some try, but one hint of the smell of bullshit and i am OUT!

For every brick they take down, I put up three. Seriously. A man would have to have the patience of Job just to make it to first base.


Sooo, I try the upfront approach. I am a firm believer in laying all the cards on the table face up.  *here* this is what you are dealing with.

You have no idea how many times I am accused of playing games, but really???

I am painfully shy, especially when dealing with the opposite sex.  I don't believe in calling a man. I won't chase a man. I will especially drop a mofo with the quickness when I hear "just call me later" continuously. Whats with that anywaysss?? Why I always gotta keep calling you? A man isn't coming to my house, I have a child present and protecting my image in the eyes of my daughter and showing a good example is of the upmost importance. When I say I am not sleeping with you that is what I mean. Not until I know you better. Thats not unreasonable is it??

Then men say I am unapproachable.  That i always look so serious.  Like I have an attitude. and if you step to me wrong, you gonna see that attitude. *sighsss* I can't help my size. I know it is intimidating for most, and for the rest, they think I am an easy mark. pfffffft

So my question for you dear friends is how do I get past my fear of men without compromising the VERY old fashioned values that I hold dear and without running for those ever loving hillssssss???


  1. Oh and I have tried the approach a man first route and it always turns very badly and confirms my belief that when you go against your personal convictions.....

  2. i believe that men still think that way and i also think if u propose to aman or say u love him first, then u NEVER really know if he wanted u or just went along with it
    i have NEVER approached a man.
    but right now they arent a real priority for me, the problem is that they have a monopoly on the goodies

  3. halle berry made the first move with eric and that other guy.see how that turned out

  4. well there ya go. lololol Blog is OVER! lmaooo

  5. i mean, i dont think its bad or wrong. but still, if a man comes to me then i know he wants me
    but, i run anyway,lol

  6. I know right? I will outrun a Kenyan in the Olympics.

  7. LMAO
    i feel like one of those rabbits with the greyhounds after them

  8. Maybe you haven't approached the right one...

  9. A comment I received on 360 is that maybe I should smile more. and there is a point to that, cuz I use to be horrible about it. But, when a man speaks, I clam up and then he thinks I am giving him 'tude.

    and I smile. sometimes. LOLOLOL I have gotten waaaaaaaaaaay better, I used to be worse. I don't know what it is about me that when I man speaks I clam up and they think I am giving them 'tude.

  10. Seriously when you find out Queen please let me know. I seem to have run into the same issues concerning men myself and quite frankly have found it the reason that a numerous amount of my relationships don't fully develop or that i don't get passed a particular point because i have the "escape clause" ready in hand. I was actually just speaking about this last evening with a gentleman to which i told him even when i come to a gentleman spilling all the beans i come off something way too difficult to conquer or a tease. I will not apologize for abstaining until marriage or anything else i feel is important to me.
    It's a big difference from when i was younger but the past is the past and that's where it stays. I'm with Mike (and my gentleman friend explained this as well) perhaps it just wasn't the right one. I'm not in any rush so don't worry honey the one for you will surely approach you.

  11. if a dude is really interested and has his shit together, he will approach you and ask you for your name and number after a brief little games, no doubts. you will KNOW he is interested. all this back and forth staring and shit, dude ain't really serious, he may just be admiring your cuteness.

    a woman can still make the first move and still NOT APPEAR to be making the first move. If the man is captivated and interested, he will make his move on ya after you have caught his eye, smiled at him, and looked away, something so very simple and innocent versus you approaching him outright and not really knowing if he is really interested or not.

    sadly, some dudes don't have a clue....thats just some shit they need to work on. lol

    Me, I am very direct, if I see a woman who catches my eye and I'm interested, I will approach. If I see a woman and she smiles at me or does something to let me know she is curious and I'm attracted to her, I will approach her.

    I generally make it very clear. If a dude is really interested, you won't have to wonder about it.

    Trust Big Brother on that.

  12. for real, if its the RIGHT one, she won't have to approach him


  13. babygirl, believe me, a little can go a looonnnng way.

    something as simple as a smile to the right guy is more than enough.

    I know a genuine smile usually indicates some degree of interest to me.

    and its innocent enough to just be a smile if nothing further happens.

    I'm sure you have a very lovely smile -gone and flash that thang

  14. i told folk that for YEARS no one believed me
    glad other ppl can see that girlie is insane

  15. you and me both! LOLOLOL I will be UP in a minute!!!

  16. I try to smile. really I do. But see, I am a little goofy. lmaooo I get to smiling and cheesing like I ain't never had a man before. LMAO I blush EASILY. A mofo shows me a little attention and my face turns beet red.

  17. so then what ends up happening is that I clam up in an effort to not seem TOO goofy and then they think I am giving a 'tude.

  18. okay, DON'T be smiling and cheesing like Celie after Shug layed that big fat kiss on her.


  19. I wouldn't lie to you - thats how it really is.

    don't sweat the clowns who ain't ready...just be ready for the real thang


    Big Brotha has spoken!

  20. I used to be assertive and approach men when I was interested... it never seems to really work out for me. Besides... now I'm in a place where if a man is truly interested in me and is desirous of building a real relationship - he's going to have move heaven and earth to prove it....

  21. aint nothin wrong with being coy
    believe it or not, i have even been known to GIGGLE
    and i can be goofy, let me say this
    do what u gotta and be you
    if ur kinda goofy sometimes, cool
    if it chases away men, COOL
    you dont want those, u want the ones who LIKE goofy and find it endearing. so if he is the right one, when ur all turning red and shit he wont mind at all

  22. its the 'out"
    my husband just came back to town, thats my out for EVERYTHING
    "my husband is back and i have to be cool"
    or"hes back and that changes things so I need time to get myhead together'
    love me an out

  23. Amen and pass the peas. I think you hit it right on the head. Men who are genuinly interested in you, will make it known...consistantly. Those who are only out for the chase...well they will make it known too - in a different, more annoying way *lol*

    Keep hope alive...

  24. AMEN.


  25. MAN. you aint never lied. Mister used to like that about me (or so I thought) then it became something for him to belittle me about.